so much for original thought [entries|friends|calendar] Kris [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

Good vibrations. [04 Mar 2009|06:05pm] [ music | NPR ] Today I was offered the chance to quit my job at the end of May. I think I'm going to do it. My heart's just not in it, I'm not enjoying it and I need a kick in the ass to find another job and/or go back to school. I'm mulling it over, but it seems to be something that, if I discuss it with Donnie as a viable option, I will go through with. And that's refreshing. Brother came to visit this weekend. It was great! We went hiking, ate reeeeally good food, explored antique and farmer's markets, watched some sweet movies and documentaries, drank, ate more good food, went rock wall climbing, heard some blues music, and went to the science museum complete with imax movie. It was really great to show him around Atlanta and explore some new things together. I'll see him in a month at Jenny's wedding in Toronto with the whole clan. That will also be great. It snowed here on Sunday! We came out of church and there was snow falling. Big, fat, wet snowflakes that made instant snowmen possible. It stayed on the ground for our hike on Monday (although the weather was very temperate) and it should be in the 70s by Friday. I've seen some pretty wacky weather, and most cities/states seem to think they have the wackiest weather, but this is up there on my weird weather experiences list. There was thunder during the snowstorm. Thunder! I won $50 on the first scratch lotto ticket I ever played. I understand how people become addicted.  post comment

[04 Nov 2008|07:05am] [ mood | sleepy ] I had a weird birthday. Half of it was wonderful and the other half was miserable. I went to work where I found out they fired one of my friends and asked me to take her job. I opened a heavy door onto my toe and ripped my toenail back off of my toe through my shoe. It was a really uncomfortable mood at work and while I had fun with the kids I'm not sure how it will go for the rest of the week. I got home, made a bowl of my dad's chili and had an Oberon. I did a crossword puzzle and my man came home. We went to a movie theatre that serves beer and were the only ones there. Then we went out for a little bit of Thai food and came home where we played cards in bed. Last year I went out with the Nava gang and had a huge dinner with lots of beer. This year was a little different but I really loved the second half of the day. Now I'm ready for a long night in front of the tv watching election results unfold. The champagne is in the fridge. Here goes. post comment

The bullet points are for you, co-muse. [16 Oct 2008|08:12pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | Live High- Jason Mraz ] Sometimes I forget how happy I am. This is a note to myself: remember! In love and loved in most unexpected and beautiful way. Family coming for Thanksgiving. Job that keeps me busy and entertained with minimum amount of boredom/bullshit. Prospective future leader of country an intelligent life form. Have time to do crossword most days. 1 comment|post comment

Gushing about academic prospects never hurt anyone. [14 Aug 2008|11:25am] [ mood | chipper ] I just got off the phone with someone at a small liberal arts university in the area and it's the first thing I've gotten really excited about since I've been searching for something to do with myself. The adviser was very friendly and helpful and it sort of jolted me into a realization that I've misplaced my love of large public universities all my life. With all the attention of a small school why would anyone go anywhere else? I'm still looking at Georgia State as well, and there are many options that I'll see through, but this school seems wonderful. The program is very flexible and can be done in one year or two. It's a women's college but the MA programs are mostly co-ed. It's quite expensive but there is abundant funding available through both public and private grants, scholarships and loans. I'm going for a tour on Tuesday morning and the campus looks beautiful. It's only 15 minutes away and on a bus route. I'm excited about the prospect of something fulfilling. It's been a while. Now I jump on a bus to go meet a gypsy for lunch. post comment

As if being broke and jobless wasn't enough... [08 Aug 2008|04:18pm] [ mood | cranky ] Today I realized that I, despite thinking I was on top of things and a word of caution from my intelligent boyfriend, have overdrafted on my account. When we realized there were no National City banks in the state of Georgia Donnie and I opened up accounts at Bank of America. This was sensible, we thought, since there are branches in both Michigan and Georgia, leaving us able to deposit and withdraw whether we were at home or... well, the other home. So when I found out about the overdraft I called National City. The woman on the phone was very friendly so I didn't actually laugh out loud when she suggested I drive to Florida to deposit some cash. She suggested that in lieu of that I could wire money or send an overnight cheque. Ok, no problem. I can totally handle that. Except I got to the BOA and there was a problem. Apparently an account opened in Michigan, the newest zone in their continual conquest of regional banks is not the same as an account opened in Georgia. The woman asked if I wanted to open a Bank of America account in Georgia. What? I already have one... that was the idea, to avoid exactly this problem. After scolding me for not having my account number (I lied and said it was in a box somewhere... all the boxes are unpacked so now it's in a folder somewhere. No idea where.) they finally retrieved it using many phone calls, computer searches and 4 bank tellers lending their expertise. Ok, great. I'd like to deposit $200 into my BOA account and do a wire transfer please. Yes on the deposit. No on the wire transfer. Apparently there are no wire transfers for Michigan-opened bank accounts. Nope, they just don't do them. They don't have computers there either. Or bunnies. Let's go ahead and reverse that deposit we just did, we'll turn it into a cashier's cheque and you can mail it to your former bank's headquarters in Pittsburgh. Fine. Thank you, have a nice day, glad we're going to be banking together on a permanent basis. 30 minutes in line at the post office and $16.50 later the cheque is making its speedy way to Pittsburgh, where it will hopefully put an end to my financial institution raging against the man. Or the machine. Whatever. Feeling sorry for myself for not having a job was getting a little old, now I'll be able to feel sorry for myself for a different reason. This useless kitten act is getting old, I just want to be gainfully and meaningfully employed and not have to feel like I'm relying on someone else for support. I was talking to Nik yesterday about how we were never really skint in Chiang Mai. It felt like it a lot of the time but because nothing (important) was expensive we always managed. Now she and I are both bored and unemployed and neither of us wants to be. Back in the west there's a fee for everything and it all seems rather pointless most of the time. I didn't mean for this to be a sob story. It was supposed to be funny. It sounds a little pathetic but (assuming it's all taken care of and I don't incur any more fees) it was actually pretty funny how difficult something so simple could become. 1 comment|post comment

I'm moving to Atlanta in 2 weeks. [11 Jul 2008|01:36am] [ mood | giddy ] [ music | noisy fan ] I am happy. I am scared, and anxious, and excited and jittery. I have a partner. I'm making plans. I'm finding a way to do what I love and make money at it (eventually). I'm learning and teaching and supporting and feeling out. It's an incredible thing to be in this place and time after what has gone on in the past 6 months. My mother loves to remind me just how acute my 180 has been. I feel like there are going to be a multitude of things to face in the coming months, but that we'll take it on as it comes. It feels good to feel this way. This is something I never thought I'd do, but that's the best part about not having a game plan: I get to alter the course whenever. Of course I'm going to turn around and make a pretty intensive game plan for the next 2+ years... and that's also scary. But happiness reigns. Optimism is substance. All else is subtext. 4 comments|post comment

Push came to shove. [17 Jun 2008|01:37pm] [ mood | productive ] [ music | Everything's Easy- Girlyman ] One of my favourite things in the whole world is when I get to talk on the phone with my brother. He hates the phone. Hates calling people, hates being called... hates speaking on it in general. So when we have conversations that last more than 5 minutes, especially when he is the one that calls me, they make me feel great. We generally have fun together anyway, but it's that much better because I know that he usually can't stand it. Today he called me to ask how the Obama rally was last night, and it was very sweet. I love him. I 'said goodbye' to him yesterday and was really upset... but I'm pretty sure I'll stick around for 2 more weeks until I have to be in Edinburgh for sure. At this point I'm just waiting for my passport. Then I can book flights, then I can start to really prepare. I'm really bummed to miss out on Rach's hen night but I'll see her in October. I'm now toying with the idea of the Mackinac reunion but need to find a ride up there. That shouldn't be hard. I also might need to sleep in the carriage tour stables cause I'm dirt ass broke. But it would definitely be worth the trip. I'd love to see everyone and the Island before I go. Deadline is Friday... will have to think it over before then. I hope I can destress about the Scotland thing a little... now that I'm not waiting for an immediate and prompt answer I can plan a little better. I read Franny and Zooey the other day and it's gotten me back into the reading swing. I was reading two very slow books before it and they just dragged me down. Life is too short to read boring or poorly written fiction. I'm feeling ready to embrace the next step, whatever it may be. I've also toyed with the Atlanta idea... but it's not for me. Not right now. It's his big step, not mine. The propositions have been very tempting and very sweet, and I will miss him, but I am not at a place in my life where I'm ready to 'settle down' like that. I hate that phrase. I cringed to say it. But it's really appropriate for what we would be doing. There should be a better way of saying 'move in with someone in a life altering and permanent way' in my opinion. This was really just to document my love of phone calls with brother... and it went in an entirely new direction. How about that. 2 comments|post comment

Note to self... [25 May 2008|11:23am] [ mood | loved ] Among the multitude of things I need to learn is to enjoy the poetry while it lasts. And for what it is. One day I hope to read this and think "well I'm really happy I embraced that goal" and think myself silly for ever having brought it up. post comment

[12 May 2008|08:01pm] [ mood | worried ] a torturous read It's so hard for me to reconcile this interview of a father who killed his daughter for being enamoured of an English soldier with my ideas about religious pluralism. There will always be people like this, and that makes it difficult to insist that it is possible for us all to inhabit the same planet without killing each other. Things like the cyclone in Myanmar and the earthquake in Sichuan are tragic. As with Katrina and the tsunami of recent years these things always happen to people with nothing. Worse than that, they happen to people whose governments refuse to use their potentially very useful infrastructure to make the cleanup work efficiently. Devastating, tragic events all, but things I accept as the cost of doing business on the Earth of today. The news story though, is hideous. A father who kicked his daughter's face in. Just hideous. There are some things I will never understand but that I take to be part of someone's faith. I don't even mind that he was angry his daughter was talking to an English soldier. It's scary for a father to see his daughter embracing change, and scarier to realise it's flying in the face of everything you've ever taught her. The part of this story that destroys my faith in humanity is when he makes the leap from being disappointed in his daughter to wanting her life to end. If you're not prepared for your children to become wildly different people from what you expected then you are not ready to have children. It's how the story goes. 1 comment|post comment

Pleasure is on the other side. [25 Apr 2008|05:35am] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Sun Comes Up- John Legend ] After 5 days of being on the move I'm 'home' and it was a fun journey. BKK was hell, as usual. San Francisco was great! I got to see Craig, Joe, and Brian and their new home. It looks like they're all really settled and enjoy being there. They've certainly found all the best places to eat. Mmmm. Also they're wonderful for taking pity on me and buying me food and delicious beer as well as for listening to me bitch about the weather and how different things are in this country. We had fun drinking and watching Joe dance around the city. I'm happy to see them happy, although I worry about Joe and his work induced tension... Got home last night and had a wonderful time with my family. It was absolutely perfect. So fulfiling. But today after doing some stuff and realizing just how little money I have come to a conclusion. I am terrified that I will get stuck here.  Getting caught at the border for $550 really put a dent in my minimal savings and it makes me wonder if I can get to Edinburgh for the date I want. Shit. I know what Nomes would say "Do it. It's just money, you can pay it off, just do it or you'll regret it." But here I see myself getting mired in the dominating opinions that shout me down from my plans for escape. This is going to be a fun visit. I am not going to get stuck. I will do what I need to do and manage to end up where I want to be in a few months. Yes. Positive is key, and this time it looks like I'm going to have to make the positivity myself instead of relying on my girls. There's no need to be realistic. I am 23. I will land on my feet, but I need to trust myself to jump first. It's funny how a change of venue and just being back in this place where I grew up makes me question the independence and self-reliance that felt so solid a couple of days ago. My brothers all look great. They're all becoming awesome people and it's amazing to see the changes that they've been through in 18 months. I haven't seen any of my friends yet, most of them don't live around here. I miss my other family too. I'm terrified that I'll get stuck here. The thought that I'll still be here in 3 months is unfathomable to me. At this point it's just not a possibility. I'll either be in Scotland (I hope this is the case) or back in Chiang Mai because I know I'll always have work there. Moral of the story is... I'm not sticking around. 2 comments|post comment

[17 Apr 2008|10:33am] [ mood | pessimistic ] I'm a mess. This is going to be harder than I thought. post comment

Running out. [15 Apr 2008|10:41am] [ mood | sad ] [ music | What I Got- Sublime ] Saturday will be one of the most emotional days of my life. I am in complete denial that, until today, has been unwavering. The plan was to stay for Songkran and then leave shortly afterwards. This is what I'll do, but it's made the leaving that much harder. Songkran is my favourite festival in Thailand. I know it's dangerous, and people can get out of control, and it does get annoying after 5 days of not being able to go to the store without getting soaked, but it's so... sanook. Everyone. Everyone gets into it. From the babies to the grandaddies you can't walk 2 feet without seeing someone with a huge smile on their face. And as long as you understand the spirit of the festival it's hard to go wrong. That said, I have had moments of 'enough is enough' over the past few days. But I've been walking around with a huge grin on my face for most of the time. In the spirit of Thailand it's pure fun. I think I forget that I live in the land of smiles and not everywhere is like this. I have always said that I don't want to live anywhere for very long, especially at this point in my life, but it's so much easier said than done. Not in the particulars, I think that's the easy stuff. Pick a place, check out visa requirements, find a job, and make the decision. That's fine. But the getting in, getting set up, finding people to make you laugh and whose presence you crave, then ultimately leaving all of that behind for something else. That's the shitty part of this. And I reduced it to a sentence. Then it couldn't be that bad, could it? It's at this point of the whole ordeal that I want to just stay here. I don't want to to live anywhere else. I want to get a 2 year teaching degree, get a job at an international school, and live here. I don't really, but I love this city. I love my friends. I'm savouring now. I mean not right now at this minute. At this minute I'm joining hi5 and wasting time I don't have laying around the house. But these days. These last 5 days I am savouring. Last night Rach and I were wet after playing water so we went shopping at the market for going out clothes. We ended up with entire new outfits and looked pretty hot. Then we rocked out at Riverside for a few hours, failed in the mission of getting P'Oh to come home with me, but in the end I'm happy about that. Somehow I ended up at Jacky's in the corner talking to Jade, one of the Riverside band members I always say hi to but never chat with. I guess I didn't realize how good his English was, or at least how willing to try he is. He was all alone so I went to say thanks for tonight, the band was really good, and asked why he was all alone at Jacky's, the cocktail van with loads of people around. He ended up talking about his ex-girlfriend and how he's still sad about it. We talked about all kinds of things- music, cultural differences, Songkran, violence in Thailand, more music, our jobs. I love that I meet new people every day here, but it gets harder when I get down to the point when it's possible I'll never see them again. I didn't manage to get into the conversation that I have a huge crush on his dorky lead vocalist friend... but maybe I will. I'm going to try and see them play at Discovery this afternoon. I don't know what it is about all those guys, I think part of it is that they're professional musicians in Chiang Mai and therefore local legends, and I love that they're part of my city, but part of it is that they're just ordinary people. It seems to me whenever I meet musicians, even amateurish wankers in other settings they're pretty self-involved. But who knows. I'm sure there's more to their personalities than what I've seen on our few nights out. Ok, this is silly. I have a whole room of shit to pack up and I'm running on 3 hours of sleep. It'll be nice to dry out after Songkran. Literally and figuratively. 1 comment|post comment

The revolution will not be televised. Or facebooked. [02 Apr 2008|10:39am] [ mood | peeved ] This is one of my problems with the feminist movement, or indeed any of the 'social change' groups that I encountered in university: Today I received a group invitation on facebook for a group called "Start a Revolution. Stop hating your body." which seems like something I'd be interested in. I think I've grown to love my body more and more in the last year but that's besides the point. After skimming over their mission "lack of self esteem... blah blah blah... multi-billion dollar industry... blah blah blah...  unattainable beauty... blah blah blah" I found something at the bottom that completely turned me off- Shirt information: Available shirts are men's hanes beater tanks. Sizing is as follows: Small- 34"-36" Medium- 38"-40" Large- 42"-44" XL- 46"-48" XXL- 50"-52" (emphasis added) I have an idea. Let's start a 'revolution' by wearing shirts that proclaim we love our bodies, but we won't buy into the woman-hating misogynist multi-billion dollar constructed body myth perpetuating whatever the fuck twiggy image they're going for. Yes! Yes let's do that! Let's do it, and you know what? Let's do it with something called a "beater tank" cause that's completely in line with our revolution! Let it not call our attention to the millions and millions of women who are beaten regularly, sometimes by people wearing one of those shirts, but more often not. No, let's not remember that, because then we'd have to go beyond shirt wearing and start kicking the shit out of anyone who would lay a finger on our sisters. And that's not part of today's ideology that revolutions can be peaceful. It is my opinion that they cannot. Also if we're talking revolution based on clothing and body image certainly we could think of a better way of determining a difference between us that isn't SMLXLXXL based. I'm not sure if t-shirt wearing is particularly worthy of the term revolution, but that's not really my issue. I'm sick of this kind of shit, and it's one reason why I never got involved in these organizations and probably never will. 3 comments|post comment

Big C. [25 Mar 2008|09:13am] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | Friends in Low Places- Garth Brooks ] I need to snap out of it. It wasn't anything serious. Nothing even happened. We kissed. We talked. We laughed. We kissed. We cuddled. (I hate that word, for the record) But now it's everything. He's everywhere. He's in all of my stories, at all of my favourite haunts, and I can't shake it. I'm constantly struck by just how unfair it is that we lived in the same city for a year; were good friends for that whole time and it took a last minute realization that we'll not see each other again to get us together. And now I'm limited to a dozen transcontinental text messages and this key chain. I'll see him at the wedding in October. In the meantime I need to snap out of it and stop being mopey girl when I'm out with friends that aren't him. post comment

Ah, these make me feel young again. [20 Mar 2008|01:42am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | Winding Road- Bonnie Somerville ] ( For some reason I always seem to do Geoff's thingies. ) Well that's that. Can you tell I've loads of free time now? I answer silly questions so that I can go back and look at them in a year. 3 comments|post comment

Sobriety smells bad. [19 Mar 2008|12:38am] I went out sober the other night. It's one thing to stay home and not drink, it's another thing entirely to go out to all the places I usually go and hang out without a drink. I made it to 1:30, but at that point everyone started getting sloppy drunk and dancing and I just couldn't stand it. Some interesting things occurred to me. Or reoccurred I suppose. Some background. These days I go out a lot. I'd say more often than not. Now that pretty much all of my drinking buddies (save 2) have left the country I have taken a much needed break. Since school ended I've had at least one drink every day until Thursday. It's not like home where you need a DD, everyone either drives drunk or takes a cheap ass cab (the driver of which may also be drunk). Most of my friends are smokers, and smoking in bars just became illegal last week so it still goes on most places. The night started at a friend's birthday party around 9:30. It was a new hip bar on a rooftop with the kind of electronic music that makes Bjork look hardcore. This particular crowd of people are older than me, all over 30 and all established expats. They know each other pretty well and I was just stepping in for the evening. The bar had very low couch like seating and bamboo plants that kept poking me in the head. This annoyed me and usually I would distract myself by drinking more, but I was determined. The conversation was entertaining though pretty typical: movies, Thai vs. Western culture, porn, and drinks. Nothing too earth shattering there. By 10 to 11 I was kind of bored and uncomfortable, so I took leave. I thought about going home, but I decided to challenge myself to a full night out. It was too early for a club so I stopped by Tuskers to say hi to the team. The girls were all good, though none of them were going out tonight since they'd been out until 7am the night before. It was the last night of the 6 nations ruby so I went and sat with Chas upstairs to watch the second half. This was when it started- "What are you drinking? Is that a vodka manao?" (manao=lime) "Nah, just manao soda, not drinking tonight." "Why not?" "Dunno, I'm driving and I don't really feel like it" "That's what tuk tuks (cabs) were invented for!" This isn't Chas trying to get me to drink, just wondering why I wasn't. Can't fault him, it's his bar and it's not often that I show up and don't drink, especially considering that I won a free drink there every day for a year. Anyway the cable went out so I decided to meet Luce at Monkey Club. Met her friend Tom who was a great guy, easy to chat to and pleasant enough. They had one drink there and then we went to Warm Up which was rammed with all kinds of interesting people. Loads of students from the nearby uni who are all very keen to be hip. Some whiteys from the local high schools (whiteys don't get carded) and backpackers. A few expats though they were mostly inside dancing. I have to say I got a lot more observing done in a sober state. People become more annoying or more interesting or more... whatever it is they are anyway. I found myself bored easily and needing to keep my hands in my pockets. Lucy and Tom kept trying to get me on it. Everything and everyone smelled like smoke. It turns out it's much easier to speak Thai, or at least communicate with Thai people when you're both pissed. Either you feel more empowered or you don't mind the fact that you can't understand each other. We ran into a friend of a friend who doesn't speak English and Lucy was chatting to him about something in Thai that I'm almost sure I would have understood had I been drunk. I don't mind being bumped into or being in a crowded place when I'm drunk, but it was driving me insane. I kept wanting to move out of the way or stab people in the eye when they'd brush past me. I'm sure this happens all the time usually, I just don't notice it. Come to think of it I knew all of this already. I woke up Sunday feeling good and ready for the day. I started this with some clear idea of the things I observed but now I just think it's sad that I went out for a sober night and felt the need to write about it because it's that rare. So thus ends the experiment. Bring on the sangsom. 1 comment|post comment

Requite. [14 Mar 2008|08:22am] [ mood | surprised ] That was unexpected. Really unexpected. Nice. Sweet. Poetic. Perfect timing. Unreal. But it's enough. I'm bursting to tell someone. But it's a nice secret to keep. post comment

Lament. [04 Mar 2008|01:04am] [ mood | just sad ] [ music | Out of this World- Bush ] It's more difficult to say goodbye to good friends than lovers. Difficult. Not the right word. Painful. Heartrending. Perhaps those are too dramatic. The two times in my life I've broken up with someone I loved as a partner were based on time and space problems rather than irreconcilable differences. I suppose that makes me lucky. Regardless it was hard (fucking hard at times), but I knew they weren't gone forever and they'd always be there if I needed them. The times I've said goodbye to friends I thought I might not see again have been absolutely soul crushing. And now most of those people I never see. That part isn't disturbing anymore... you get used to them not being around. It's the close friendship and then the goodbye, and then the drifting apart, and then the never seeing again. That stuff stings. Maybe because it's so slow, or maybe because I always know we'll have our own things going on for the rest of our independent lives. I'm an intensely jealous person. I've learned to live with this part of myself as if it were an extra limb- an ugly limb I try to hide in the folds of other emotions named loyalty and passion. This is problematic in my love life, but downright ridiculous in my platonic friendships, especially with women. What I'm trying to say is that Nomes leaves tomorrow. I'm really upset about it. I've been crying in secrecy for a few days and I know that saying goodbye to her is going to be a huge wreck. I am incapable of a graceful goodbye. I love this woman. She is the most genuine human being I've ever met and even I know that's not easy to come by. She is selfless and independent and strong, but at the same time soft and resilient. I've never known someone so giving and willing to do whatever it takes without compensation, praise, or flattery. She's made me a better person. We work, live, eat, drink, work out, shop, and veg together. I didn't really notice until this week how intertwined our lives are. I know in the same way I've always known about friends I say goodbye to that she'll always be there for me as I will her. You don't spend this much time with someone and just walk away. If I could predict such things I'd say we'll be at each other's weddings. At the same time I also know that we'll never be the same. This time, this place, this age... it all goes tomorrow. I am devastated by that. Regardless of how I choose to live my life I hate change. I love what I do and plan to keep doing it as long as the funds and passport allow, but it fucking sucks at this stage in the game. Saying goodbye to a friend is so much harder than saying goodbye to a lover. I'm sure I'll disagree with myself in the future, but right now I just want to crawl into bed and stay there. Last week was Nic, this week Nomes, next week Chris. In less than 2 months it'll be everyone I've come to depend on for the last 18 months and that is possibly what's scaring me most. Is this what I'm mourning today? The loss of a lifestyle? I don't think so, but it bears further reflection. I am mourning Nomes, and our relationship that was (or is soon to be so) in such a time, in such a place. And I do it quietly, because you don't understand. 2 comments|post comment

Good idea Geoff. [03 Feb 2008|10:44am] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | Where Does the Good Go- Tegan and Sara ] 20 Things You May Not Know About Me When I was a child I was often told off for eating butter. My wrists are double jointed. I am easily attracted to many personalities (men and women), but there are few I want to be in a relationship with. I am pretty bad at maths and get worse if someone is waiting for me to make change or answer a maths question on the spot. There will never be guns allowed in a house I live in. The question I hate most (more than any other small talk) is "Where do you come from?". I would love to do a masters in Economics but know I would never use it to do a job related to economics, and therefore probably won't. I pee in the shower. My brothers are my favourite human beings on the planet. I have consciously taken sunglasses out to the bar at night because I knew I wouldn't be home before the sun came up. I sing all the time. I know it's annoying. I don't care. I know I will never find a relationship like my parents' and that scares me because it's pretty much all I look for. Despite the fact that I rarely finish them I do crosswords as often as I can. I have read most of the bible in both religious and academic settings and find it very entertaining. I really enjoyed high school. Sometimes I feel like the internet has turned my brain into mush. I believe that you can never have too much garlic. I am pro choice but probably would not have an abortion if it came down to it. After a great work out all I want to do is eat and have sex. I have never met an Irish person (someone I've talked to more than once) I didn't like. 1 comment|post comment

Annual Survey [29 Dec 2007|06:45pm] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | The Future Freaks Me Out- Motion City Soundtrack ] 1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? I wore a bikini (and felt good in it). 2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? Last year I said I wanted stability of self. I don't know what that means... but I am much more secure about who I am now than I think I've ever been. Still don't know what I want though. If I had to make one for next year it would be to write more or to keep in better contact with more people. Oh and brush up on my grammar so I can actually teach it. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Nope. Em and Dan got married though. And I wasn't there. 4. Did anyone close to you die? No. 5. What countries did you visit? Just one this year. It's possible that's the lowest number since my 7th birthday. Strange. 6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? A more challenging job. 7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? April 13-15, Songkran (Thai New Year) or October 11, when my mom landed in Chiang Mai. 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? I made a real life for myself here. Last year at this time I was just playing around, I was still on holiday really. But I feel settled and I have a great group of friends that get me and make me laugh a lot. 9. What was your biggest failure? Not doing more travelling around Thailand. I don't regret it but I know I could have seen a lot more on long weekends or even short ones. 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? I got in two minor motorbike accidents, I had the worst food poisoning of my life, and I got bitten by a stray dog. All in all I've been alright though. 11. What was the best thing you bought? My camera. I love it and use it allll the time. I don't have any more room on my computer for pictures. 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? My roommate Naomi. She is always there for me and I don't tell her enough. I've never met a more genuine and thoughtful person. Honestly. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? I was pretty appalled and depressed when Sean cheated on me, but that was mostly a pride thing. 14. Where did most of your money go? Rent, booze and food, as usual. And this week rabies shots. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? My Mom, Craig, and Joe visiting. :D 16. What songs will always remind you of 2007? Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston and Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks. 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Happier. Much happier. ii. thinner or fatter? I've gone up and down a bit this year, but looking at pictures I'm thinner. iii. richer or poorer? Richer. I was flat broke when I started my job last year, and it's been a tight month, but I have some savings and that's something. 18. What do you wish you'd done more of? Planning my lessons in advance. I've gotten so lazy about just winging it because I know I can. But they go so much better when I plan. Sending letters/postcards/parcels home. 19. What do you wish you'd done less of? Talking shit. I realized I do a lot of that. It's part of my sarcastic asshole persona. 20. How will you be spending Christmas? I had a great time! At school we had a party, watched Mr. Bean's Christmas, had a Christmas quiz, and gave out presents. Opened stuff Mom sent, went to Tusker's for a big turkey dinner with all of my mates. I missed everyone quite a bit, and was really sad to be absent for yet another Christmas, but it was miles better than last year trolling around the mall with Noah. Ugh. Also I love turkey. 21. So there's no question... 22. Did you fall in love in 2007? No. And I'm so ok with that. I've had great fun being single. 23. How many one-night stands? None. I tried that, but it didn't work out because it turned out we got along really well. 24. What was your favorite TV program? I watched even less TV this year than last year. Nomes and I have just started watching Dexter and it's pretty cool. 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? No... last year I said I didn't hate... but I think I've discovered that I'm capable of it for sure. 26. What was the best book you read? Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J. K. Rowling or The English Patient by Michael Ondaatje. 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? The Arctic Monkeys. Or just stepping out of the acoustic male vocalist genre as my staple listening choice. 28. What did you want and get? A good job, great friends, and a settled feeling. 29. What did you want and not get? To be in two places at once many many times this year. 30. What was your favorite film of this year? Stardust! It was great. 31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I woke up to rain, read and drank tea, went to the gym with Nomes, went to see Stardust, then went out for a staff dinner put on by my boss where I got pressies and cake. Went out to Riverside for some more drinks after that, ended up at Jacky's and met some cool new people. Overall it was lovely and spontaneous. 32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? My 3 brothers coming to Thailand to spend a month backpacking around Southeast Asia. That would have been really amazing. 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? I wore a lot of yellow polo shirts with the Thai King's symbol on them (required wearing for Mondays) and when the boys came to visit they said I had become a lot girlier. It's just cheaper to do here, I guess. 34. What kept you sane? My job and my friends. And the internet for making it so easy and cheap to communicate with people at home. 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? Turns out Damien Rice is really hot. Nobody new, really. 36. What political issue stirred you the most? The Burmese monk protests against the junta and the Thai election. 37. Who did you miss? Mum, Dad, Colin, Jamie, Matthew, Trace, Sarah, Taryn, Em, Mackinac people, Uni people, extended family. Everyone. I'm starting to accept this as part of my lifestyle. It sucks. 38. Who was the best new person you met? All of my co-workers at Nava. We really have an amazing team and work very well together and all manage to hang out on the weekends as well. And Lucy, but she's part of the crew. And Chas and Rach, the owners of Tuskers. 39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007? I can do whatever I want. I will succeed, I will land on my feet, and it may not always be easy or fun, but because I have been well prepared by the people that brought me to this point I have amazing opportunities to go and do and be whatever I want. It's very freeing. 40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. I close my eyes and I think of all the things that I want to see Cause I know now that I've opened up my heart I know that Anything I want can be. So let it be, so let it be. Strength, courage and wisdom It's been inside of me all along 3 comments|post comment

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